Diplomatic Immunity

I've recently started playing Diplomacy again.

It's fun, but you have to overthink it way too much to properly play.

For those who don't know, Diplomacy is like Risk except without dice. Also everyone hates each other by the end.

Units (Armies and Fleets) are all equal strength and can can either move to an adjacent territory, stay still, or support another unit's movement. An army attempting to move into an occupied area will fail to move unless the amount of support to move is greater than the support of the defending unit. Players submit orders in secret, then all movements are calculated and carried out simultaneously.

Controlling a Supply Center (the red dots on the above map) allows the country to build additional units. Winning is achieved by controlling the majority of the supply centers on the map or, more often, by all surviving players agreeing to a draw. A turn can last days and a game can stretch over months. I've heard tell of single-night games involving lots of arguing and secret conferences in private rooms, but have never seen one in the flesh.


In order to get anything done you must cooperate with another player to get the supports you need for a proper invasion. But orders are secret. Now you see the fun part, because the only guarantee you'll ever have in a strategy is your ally's word. Players spend hours staring at the map, planning for all potential outcomes and weighing those against the touchy-feely notion of trust.

Player personalities have developed because of this. Here's a brief rundown of those I've encountered, complete with made up names!

Billy, the DIRTY LIAR

There's a reason the logo on PlayDiplomacy.com is a guy with twenty knives in his back, and that reason is Billy. He makes overtures to everyone and promises anything, hoping to stab the other player in the back just in time to avoid a converse betrayal.

Start each game assuming everyone is Billy because that is usually the case.

Alice, whose WORD IS HER BOND

Alice likes to talk about "alliances". Sometimes they are lasting (until a betrayal by Billy), other times they are set plans of action to be carried out over a fixed period. Either way, Alice will make her honesty clear and will never strike first.

But don't dismiss Alice as an idealist. Sometimes she sees her honorable name as just another resource to be maintained, much like how a Fortune 500 company is kept honest purely through the self-interest of branding. What she loses in predictability she makes up by garnering friendships easily.

Billy obviously crossdresses as Alice frequently, but reveals himself as a charlatan too often for the opportunity of an easy gain.

Frederick, the ROLEPLAYER

There's always one. As Turkey, Fred will insist on being addressed as the Grand Ottoman Emperor and will dictate his attacks to salve his wounded pride. As England, he may proclaim his hatred for "those French dogs" and campaign mercilessly against France despite all rational logic.

Fred is funny and dies quickly.

Adam, the RATIONAL ACTOR

Up front, Adam will explain that he always acts in his own self interest. He doesn't understand alliances or betrayal, insisting that his strategy should be obvious to any impartial observer. He'll reply to requests for trust with "trust me to do what's best for myself and you'll never be disappointed".

He'll gladly trade information or supports and is willing to make short-term sacrifices for long-term gains. Adam spends most of his time trying to classify the other players because he knows that they are fortunately (or unfortunately) woefully irrational.

I was once Adam, and I have a non-idealistic Alice friend. I'm not sure how to classify myself in my recent forays, but I have definitely made overtures to everyone so perhaps I am Billy. We'll see.




If you liked taking over Europe in Risk but thought it needed a pall of constant paranoia, then Diplomacy is perfect for you! Play it for free at www.PlayDiplomacy.com, or you can just as easily print out a map and play by correspondence with a group of 7 friends.*

*The Idiot's Array takes no responsibility for any homicidal incidents which may occur as a result.